Sunday, September 27, 2009

Matt - 1, Bees - 3; A Fairly True Story and Score






It's the ninth inning, and the Bees are winning. Cleverly positioning themselves in the crevasse between the outer stone layer of the house and the window frame, the Honey Bees have been able to form the perfect defense against the Matt Attack. Matt pulls the old solid-stream-of-wasp-spray trick, but the Bees are only tickled! They fly in front of the goal, chortling as Matt uses the entire can of poison against them. Not a Bee falls. Matt - 0, Bees - 1. Matt drives to Wal-Mart, purchases another can of Wasp/Hornet spray. Not a Bee falls, but the red ants come out to watch the game. Matt - -1, Bees - 2.

Matt spends time asking several coaches for a new game plan. Meanwhile the Bees are buzzing about some excitement. It's HONEY! Their hive is prospering! The coaches suggest he continue to use a similar offense plan, but to use a different poison.

Matt takes some time to groom his part of the field. Pushing the lawn mower, a member of the Bees decides to attack out of the blue! The Bee decides to pull the Oops-I-Got-Stuck-in-His-Hair-So-I-Had-To-Sting-Him routine! Matt is very surprised by the Bee Sting he received on the top of his head! Matt - -2, Bees 3.

He leaves the field.

The crowd (Molly and Joel) is silently watching--- silently, if you exclude screaming and running around away from the Bees. (That wasn't Joel.)

Matt comes back out to the field. In his hand he holds a red spray bottle of something! What is it? Why, it looks like it's the simple flying-insect-killer offense! He aims and sprays.

What is this? Slowly Bees begin to abandon the hive. Some are falling!

Matt- 0, Bees 3.

More fall!

Matt- 1, Bees 3.

He goes inside to get something he's had up his sleeve... or... inside. It is a long ribbon of fly traps!!!! He plans to push it into the crevasse with a paint stick.

Suddenly he stops. He watches the swarming Bees.

He decides to return when they're in bed. Maybe he'll trick 'em better then.

To be continued...

(Good luck, Matt!)

Friday, September 25, 2009

HELP!

I wrote a song. You may listen, but only if you'll consider finding a solution to my dilemma. (The dilemma is stated in the recording.)

Listen and enjoy!

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Making Friends

I suppose making friends is something a little new for me... I lived in the same city for 21 years.  I always had at least one or two friends wherever I went.  Making friends is not something I've really been educated in.  I'm also, honestly, not great at keeping friends... but that's a topic for a different day.

Every time I meet a woman here, I think, "Hmmmm... maybe she'll be my Longview friend!"  But usually I do or say something stupid, or I can't seem to say anything recognizable as words at all.  

The women at TECH are all very nice.  They also don't need another friend.  Everyone seems to have their lives here, and no one really seems like they're looking for an additional person to spend extra time with.  (Everyone is very busy!)

I was thinking about what I should do to make friends.  Maybe I could come up with some great jokes.  (I decided that's not a good, normal idea, probably.)  Maybe I could announce the things I'm interested in, and see if anyone has the same interests in common... (That was much too self-centered.)

Well, really, I am a nervous wreck about meeting people, still.  Today Joel went with Matt and me to his home church, Fellowship Bible.  Matt went there while he was here two years ago, and we visited three times before.  Anyway, a person that I've hung out with three times before here in Longview saw me there at church, and just smiled.  She didn't come say hi--- and she wasn't talking to anyone else.  She just smiled and looked away.  That confirmed my thoughts that she didn't really like me.  (I had suspicions---or paranoia.)

Joel, after the service, introduced us to several people from the singles group there.  They were very nice people who were, seemingly, genuinely interested in Matt and me.   They invited us to go to lunch with them, so we joined them.  Melissa, Larry's daughter (you met him in an earlier video), was there, too!  Although everyone was so nice, I was an awkward fit.  My sense of humor isn't as great as my mom thinks it is...  :0)

After lunch, Joel, Melissa, Matt and I stood talking in the parking lot for quite awhile!  She told me about the women's Bible study at her church Thursday nights, and she even said that they are working the Beth Moore's Esther book!  (I'm halfway through it!--- so are they!)  Long story short, we're going to go together Thursday, and Matt is going to go to the men's Bible study at the same time!  We're very excited.  

So, I suppose I didn't have to come up with any cool friend-making tactics.  And I think it's okay if I AM awkward.  Melissa seems to be fine with it, and she seems like someone who is very easy to get along with.  She's even shy, which is a lot like two of my few close friends!  I am hoping that we'll become friends... at least that I'll be someone she'll come up to and say hi, and vice versa.  Oh!  And she lives a few blocks away from me!  That's exciting. 

 I didn't know that I'd struggle so much in the friendship-making area.  I guess, if you remember to, this could be a prayer request!  Please pray that I don't scare Melissa away by being so lonely.   :0)

A New Way to Trap a Lizard

Here is a story of which Matt and I will be reminding each other for years to come.  It's not as funny as WE think it is, but I thought I'd share it with you, so you might be able to giggle with us if we ever bring it up when you're around.

Matt was coming in from working on the lawn mower.  He opened the front door, and I saw a tiny thing, maybe the size of a big centipede, come RUSH through the door.  I thought it was a giant centipede and started screaming.  I yelled at Matt that HE let in a big... THING!  I kept screaming.

Matt yelled at me (which means his voice barely raised above normal), and he told me to help him move the couch to find the bug.

So being the mature adult that I am, I stopped screaming and moved the couch.  Oh wait, no... that's what I thought I SHOULD do.  I REALLY hopped up on the coffee table and screamed even louder as he moved the couch alone.

Matt said, "HELP ME!"  So, I tiptoed off the coffee table, moved the couch and inch.  He announced that the bug was a tiny lizard.  I screamed louder, and the lizard darted off.

It ran underneath a lounge-type chair by the fireplace.  Matt made me come down from the coffee table, upon which I stood once again, and I helped him move the chair.  The tiny lizard ran from his corner into a tiny, tiny hole next to the fireplace.   My screaming stopped, and we waited.  Matt told me to get a papertowel.  I don't remember if I did, or not, and he grabbed a plastic, red cup.  He sat there poking the tiny crack-like hole in the wall.  He told me to get the leaf blower from the downstairs shed.  I said no, but I went to get him my hair dryer.  ?  And a Q-Tip.   He gave me a dirty look because I wouldn't comply...  

So... Matt is sitting next to a hole with a really tough and annoyed expression, holding a metallic purple hair dryer and poking into the hole with a Q-Tip.  (Oh: he had a spray bottle, too... to "Spray the lizard out.")
 
Finally he said, "Go get the leaf blower!"  I said "NO!" from my perch on the dining room chair, and then he gave me a mean look and said, "Get the leaf blower, Molly!"  So I stomped out of the scary scene and got the leaf blower.  I gave it to him, then I stomped off to my room, to pout like a real trooper. 
 
(I'm really grown-up.  You know, screaming and pouting.)
 
So I'm laying on the bed listening to the hair dryer blowing, the spray bottle spraying, and the Q-Tip pushing into the hole.  Meanwhile, I'm envisioning the poor creature scared to death watching all this happen to him.  Then I imagine that the lizard actually found a little path through the wall and back outside.  He gets hugged by his family members as he relays the story of the Q-Tip and spray bottle. 

Suddenly all the noises stop.  I hear Matt stomp around the house, doing something in the kitchen.  I imagine that he's probably creating a trap, maybe of the mesh strainer and some tape, or something.  He's so creative with stuff like that, I figure he's got something really good planned to protect me.
 
Then he comes into the bedroom and plops on the bed.  He starts talking to me, but I'm still annoyed that he was so rude when I was scared, so I ignore him (very sweet, huh?).  He moves my shoulder and says, "Molly?"  I ignore him... maybe he'll go away.  

He does it three more times, and I ignore all three.  Then, he opens his hand wide and presses it on my back, and waits.  I think he's checking to see if I'm breathing, so I stop breathing.  (Come on, guys... I was injured because he wasn't sympathetic to my fear!) He shouts fearfully, "MOLLY!"  So finally I said, "Leave me alone."  He's a little ticked off, and says, "I never found the lizard." 

Pause. 

"You know that fake, nasty bouquet?" (His random comment is referring to a bouquet from the Island of Misfit Flowers that we have... I'm curious why he brought it up.)  "I put it in front of the hole.  Hopefully he'll go into it."  
 
Hopefully he'll go into it?!  The fake, nasty bouquet?  What?  Matt's "trap" was a bouquet?
 
I laughed SO, SO, SO loud and hard, I think he wasn't sure if he should be offended or amused.  He just listened to me laugh for a minute as I repeated "hopefully he'll go into that fake, nasty bouquet," and he slowly backed out of the bedroom. 
 
Matt wasn't as amused as I was.  He went back outside to get some work done, so I picked up a lizard we bought our nephew, and I set it on top of the fake, nasty bouquet.  When he saw me next, he said, "I think the bug poison around the house turned the lizard into Godzilla!"  (It's a big lizard.)

At least that amused him a little.

Lizards are abundant in East Texas.  Matt and I have seen many of them, even more lately!  They are very cute when they crawl on our plants.  They are also quite cute when they are peeking at us from their perch on the railing of the balcony!

But.

They are not cute when they run into the house.

Matt's Project: Pixelated Version :)