Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Something I Noticed...

 (A Note From Molly)

Right now, honestly, I feel a bit overwhelmed. We've been working on the house every night, unless we've had a meeting at church, and the house is coming along--- though not a single room is TOTALLY finished.  It's a HUGE project that we're in the middle of, and there is a learning curve involved (though Matt is incredibly skilled!).  We've traveled up north three times in two months, and we're going back to Elgin next week... I just finished unpacking two nights ago.  Meanwhile, we've gotta get the house ready to move into SOON.  Matt wants to be out of Stone House by April.  (How we can do that amongst all this traveling, I don't know.)

Matt let us rest Saturday evening after supper, instead of working, which was such a treat!  Also, last night we quit working around 8:40 to get some things for the house Wal-Mart, and we went home to relax afterward.  THAT was also a treat!  :)  Those moments, I think, are helping me get through the other days with long hours.

I guess you could say I'm behind in a lot of things at home... catching up on laundry, cleaning, organizing, packing to move; it's tricky.  Meanwhile, I feel like I'm living in chaos and can't quite escape it.

It's been a hard couple months.  You know that I just posted info about Grandpa Christy.  He passed away two weeks after Larry passed away here at TECH.  I'm emotionally drained.  I used to feel upbeat, but I don't smile as easily as I used to.  I still smile though.  It's just harder.  And I definitely feel the need to smile... it's not pretend... it's just hard.

Something I noticed, though, is that last year around this time I felt the same.  Psychologists say depression comes in cycles.  Maybe they're right... 

Something ELSE I noticed is that I didn't blog much last winter, just as I didn't much this winter.  But something tragic happened last year in February, and I didn't even blog about it.  I didn't blog about most things last winter because of my depression... maybe I wrote more on my OTHER blog, but I didn't post here.  My grandpa Johnson passed away.  I can't even begin to describe how sad I was when I realized I never blogged about him.  My sister, Sarah did.  It was beautiful.  She blogged numerous times

Do you ever realize (much after the fact) that you have neglected to do something, and because of that you may have hurt people's feelings?  I feel like I did that by not blogging about Grandpa.

Matt and I made a trip to Minnesota over Christmas with our family to see him.  We also were able to make it to his funeral early February last year.  I can't believe I didn't blog about any of it.  I was sure that I had blogged... but maybe I just thought about what I WOULD say.

I hope I can write about Grandpa HoJo soon.  I'll try.  Each of my sisters had a different relationship with him... I'll only be able to write from my perspective, of course.  I just have to get through a couple of things here first.  :)  Grandpa's post will take time, because I'll want to have some fun picture to share with you.

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